So my life is basically busy, busy enough for me anyways. I am always trying to keep myself busy, such as housework, computer design, and interacting with the kids. I purposely keep myself busy for I hate sitting down or doing nothing for long period of time (more than 30 minutes of nothing will make me crazy). So why is it I am so lonely?
Adults, I don’t have any in my life, but MyLove. Whether he’s working too much, (as he has been for the last couple months) or home doing nothing, conversations are usually about the guys at work, motorcycle, or something that makes me go in a far off land. Still listening though, I can tell you just about everything he tells me but that’s because it’s the same thing every time. Its like reading, if you read a book constantly, you will have memorized it. I have memorized Jeff.
Yes I have #1 and #2 to keep be busy. Keeping me cooped up in this house and not a moment to myself, observing and embracing them everyday with their new learnings. Motherhood allows you to learn something and try something different everyday. Childhood and motherhood involves every emotions and I’m not even halfway there! Watching #2 read now, its amazing, and its like she can’t stop! I take pride in myself that both girls are ahead of their age, not so much to skip grades but enough that they know what they are doing. This is about as much excitement as I get everyday.
Friends? I don’t have any, physically speaking. I do not count the people on the PTO my ‘friends’, just school friends but not someone I can call friend. Of course it’s our first year at this school so I haven’t got the chance to know them outside of school. My last best friend is in the previous state we lived in and we no longer talk. Our daughters are best friends and they don’t either. Sad, something I knew that would happen, from experience. It would be nice to have her here; I could really use a friend now. And the rest of my ‘current’ friends, are on facebook. I say ‘current’ friends because they are the ones that I talk with at this time of my life. Those friends on facebook does not include anyone I don’t know, just the ones that once were in my life, the past and we do not speak. Out of all of them, only two we may actually get to talk to a couple times a month.
lonely (ˈləʊnlɪ) — adj , -lier , -liest 1. unhappy as a result of
being without the companionship of others: a lonely man
2. causing or resulting from the state of being alone: a lonely existence
3. isolated, unfrequented, or desolate
4. without companions; solitary
'loneliness — n
www.dictionary.com
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